Jay Allen has witnessed music break barriers time and time again.
“We’ve heard the phrase music is a universal language,” he said. “It can break through the barriers of skin color, cultures, politics or religion — it even breaks through sickness. I experienced it with my mother and then I’ve experienced it hundreds of times afterwards.”
The country-rock musician, who was a contestant on season 22 of “The Voice,” married his pain with his passion and gained a new perspective after being inspired by the effect music had on his mother after she was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s disease.
Using his music to highlight caregivers and connect with others touched by Alzheimer’s disease, Allen shared his story at Sumter Senior Living on Feb. 18 as the sixth stop of his Living Gracefully tour.
The Living Gracefully concert series, presented by Grace Management Inc., aims to create inspiration among caregivers and families across the country, with the last stop planned for April 9 in Coralville, Iowa.
Brian Storey, president of Grace Management Inc., said the series aims to highlight healing and community.
“Grace Management Inc. is proud to lead the way in bringing meaningful, relevant programming to senior living,” Storey said. “This first-of-its-kind Jay Allen’s Living Gracefully Tour combines the healing power of music with the sense of community we strive to cultivate every day. And for us, it’s not just about hosting a concert, it’s about what those moments mean to the people who live and work in our communities.”
Along with helping to transform him from living in a small town in Nashville to opening for famous country artists on tour, Allen said he realized the power of music after his mother started showing signs of Alzheimer’s disease two years before her death.
“My mom walked in the door and I was expecting the look of my mom, you know, the person I knew and loved. I was her only son and her oldest child,” Allen said. “Instead, I got a look like I was a stranger. She looked at me like she was terrified. It kinda just broke something inside of me. For fight or flight, I’m always fight, but at that moment I was running. I didn’t know how to handle the situation.
“We took mom out to a venue and there’s a band on stage,” he said. “When my mom heard the music and saw the band, I experienced, truly for the first time, the power of music. Her seeing the band and hearing the music took my very sick mom and brought her back to life. I saw the sparkle come back.”
Research shows that music therapy can activate regions of the brain and can decrease agitation, anxiety or depression in those affected by Alzheimer’s, according to a study in The Journal of Prevention of Alzheimer’s Disease.
“I grabbed her by the hand and ran to the front of the venue and in front of everyone in that room, my mom and I started to slow dance to a fast song. I felt her take a deep breath, lean in and whisper, ‘Oh my gosh, Jay I love you and I’m so glad to see you.’ She was there for a moment with me because of the music.”
In 2017, his mother’s Alzheimer diagnosis inspired Allen to write his popular song, “Blank Stares.”
The song, which has gone viral with over 2.4 million streams, has helped raise over $160 million to research Alzheimer’s disease.
“The hook line, ‘I still see you in between the blank stares,’ is because people who have Alzheimer’s dementia have this really lost look in their face or glossy look in their eyes,” Allen said. “(For my mom), when she heard the music that went away. So, it was like this really positive hopeful idea, ‘I still see you in between the blank stares and I’m gonna fight for you.’ I’ve been writing songs for a few years, but there was something different in the room that day when I wrote that song.”
An estimated 7.2 million Americans over the age of 65 have been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s dementia and the disease is the seventh-leading cause of death in the U.S., according to the Alzheimer’s Association.
With the total cost of health care — including long-term care and hospice — for dementia patients 65 and older being $384 billion in 2025, over 12 million Americans are caregivers for family members with dementia, according to the association.
Explaining that he will never forget his mom’s caregiver, Allen said the name of the tour, Living Gracefully, is also a nod to how he feels caregivers live while also being a play on Grace Management.
He was tattooed with the phrase days before the start of the tour to remind him to do the same.
“Caregivers are the definition of angels on earth,” he said. “They do and see things every day that no one should really have to do and see, yet they show so much grace. It’s not about them, it’s their lifestyle. They carry a weight with them, but most of them do it with a smile.”
Reflecting from 2017 to today, Allen said music helped him create a different perspective about how Alzheimer’s affected his life and what “for a long time felt like a burden, now feels like a blessing.
“I always say my mom’s life gave me purpose,” Allen said. “For me, it’s an intertwining of using your gifts — in my case music and songwriting — attaching it to a story line and then being wide open with that. I call it a blessing now because I see how (music) changes everything about how people feel. When I get on a stage or am doing an interview, I bare it all when I talk about my mother, who I miss dearly. I share the song that’s attached to her and its me being as raw and human as I can possibly be.”
Staff writer Brea Jones can be reached at 352-753-1119, ext. 5414, or brea.jones@thevillagesmedia.com.
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